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On Relationships
I was very grateful for my yoga mat last night. I was lying in
fetal position after an absorbing workout and I became aware of
how good it felt to be lying there on my mat. It was providing a
soft cushion against the floor and its gripping surface held me
in place in a tight, comforting position. I thought about my yoga
practice and what an important tool this mat was in exploring deeper
parts of my body and my mind. Its slightly sticky surface holds
me in place as I open my chest and extend deeper into triangle pose.
It provides a soft cushion as I ground my hips into the earth and
raise my legs in lotus. As I lied there coming out of savasana (corpse
pose), I became aware of a relationship between my yoga and myself
and was filled with gratitude and a sense of connection.
I had a similar awareness a little later as I ate an apple. I began
by chomping merrily away as I succumbed to the immediate desire
of satisfying my hunger. I was slurping away at the sweet juices
while thoughts and songs danced about in my head. Then I noticed
the apple. It had a beautiful skin, smooth, taught and golden, which
snapped freshly under my teeth. Tiny trails of juice trickled down
the inside where the flesh of the apple had just separated. I listened
to the soft chewing inside my mouth, and felt the texture change
over my tongue. I found myself connected again. Here was another
element, demanding nothing of me, perfect in itself and existing
in its perfect state ready for whatever use would be made of it.
I thought about the relationship I have with myself. So often I
want more of myself than what is available—energy, strength,
flexibility, tolerance—and I overlook the offering that is
already there. Other times, I am so busy using my resources and
the resources around me that I forget to appreciate the value inherent
of the resources in and of themselves. The resources don’t
object, they don’t complain; they do their job of nourishment
or support. It is me who suffers by not being aware of the gift
being offered. The same is true of personal relationships. How much
have I missed out on by not being truly present when communicating
with people? How much have I failed to see because of my own fears
and desires? Instead of being with that person and appreciating
all that was occurring in that moment, I was lost in my thoughts
and thus, isolating myself from everything around me.
The Buddha said that nothing exists independently, that everything
exists in relationship to another. When I think of my relationships,
they seem to exude the same qualities as my relationship to my yoga
mat and apple. Some of those relationships support me, some help
challenge me when necessary. Sometimes I lean on or push away from
them in the process of growing. Other times, they are a place to
go to for comfort and protection. My relationships nourish me on
many levels, and often in ways I am not immediately aware of.
Being aware of relationships during yoga has greatly enhanced my
practice. There is the relationship of my various body parts and
muscles to each other, the relationship of my breath to my state
of mind, the relationship of my body in space to things around it,
and when in class, the relationship with the teacher. As I become
more aware of the varied qualities and characteristics of relationships
during yoga, I am able to be more appreciative of them and to try
and cultivate them in my own life. Each relationship draws me back
to whatever it is that is right before me, right under me, instead
of that which is always just beyond my grasp. I go deeper into the
essence of that which I am experiencing in order to learn; and as
I ground deeper, I expand outward and truly connect to all that
is around me.
Heather Antonissen, March 2003
You can write to Heather at heather@yogaisyouth.com
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