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The Mirror to the Soul
Most of us get a glimpse of ourselves in the mirror at least once
during the day--perhaps in the morning as we prepare for the day,
perhaps after lunch to check our teeth for leftovers, or it may
be in the evening as we wash our face and quiet ourselves for sleep.
We may use a mirror to check our outfits or our skin tone for color
and vibrancy. We may add a little extra color on a day when we
look tired or be boosted with a sense of confidence with our snappy
evening outfit. While a mere reflection can't tell us who we really
are, it can give us information that tells us how we are doing
for that day.
A mirror to our soul could provide many of the same benefits--something
to show us where that big blemish was so we could give it appropriate
care and attention. Such a mirror could show us with unattached
clarity where dryness was occurring in our wellspring or where
a particular patch of light was coming through and needing cultivation.
Imagine how well we would progress and develop if we had such a
mirror.
In truth, there are several tools we can use that provide this
insightful reflection. Yoga and meditation are some of the most
powerful tools available that can provide insight into the state
of our inner self. Another tool can be our relationships.
In this month that celebrates love, it is easy to focus solely
on our current romantic situation and lament or rejoice in its
particular state. Yet this can provide an important opportunity
to look at all of the relationships in our lives--from family,
to friends, to colleagues, to lovers, to new acquaintances--and
see a new part of our inner selves.
In eastern traditions, there is the concept that everything is
universally connected, that everything is of the same source and
merely an individual expression of that infinite source. This concept
is likened to the sea as the infinite source and each wave as an
individual expression. Each individual wave could think that it
was separate and distinct in a vast horizon of other distinct and
separate waves, yet really they are all part of the infinite ocean.
If we consider that we are all part of the same stuff, then it
would make sense to conclude that within each of us is part of
every other thing: when we eat an orange, we eat water that was
once home to a whale and soil that was once a tree; when we breathe,
we exhale billions of molecules from our recycling bodies and inhale
molecules from the environment around us. Just think of passing
someone smoking and still breathing the scent fifty feet away.
Perhaps not a pleasant thought, but it points out how far away
our breath travels and how much enters and leaves us in the very
act of breathing.
Within each person we meet are the very same qualities that are
within us--though some characteristics have been developed differently
than our own. The mirror of relationship comes in when we begin
to see what we are drawn to and what we are repelled by--we may
be drawn to those with power or beauty; we may be repulsed by arrogance
or laziness. Depending on the intensity of our attraction or repulsion,
we can see how great our desire or fear of that individual quality
can be. The more we are drawn to a particular characteristic, the
more we may feel in need of that trait. The more we are repelled
by a certain attribute, the more that we may be resisting that
very aspect of ourselves.
The more “negative” qualities can be difficult to embrace: fear
of mediocrity, fear of confrontation, fear of weight, fear of judgment…any
of these can provide powerful emotional triggers for us. We may
then react in a variety of ways: condemnation, submission, disdain,
avoidance. Yet if we take note of our reaction and see what it
is caused by, we can begin to see into deeper and deeper levels
of our own psyche. By embracing our own negative qualities, we
become more complete in ourselves and, in turn, more accepting
of others.
The same is true for qualities that we are attracted
to. When we can begin to detach from the immediate desire to
pursue and possess, we can see that those specific qualities
are things that we desire to develop in ourselves. We can then
take steps to develop them within rather than trying to attach
to another individual in the hope of “soaking” up those attributes.
When we use relationships to bring awareness to the inner workings
of our own souls, we can then begin to make conscious choices about
the decisions we make to nurture our growth. We can begin to tap
into the infinite source for our fulfillment and growth rather
than rely on the unsteady supply from another individual. We begin
to have peace as we embrace all of the different aspects of our
own inner selves and see how all qualities work in complement to
form the whole. We are less upset by our reaching and resisting
in reaction to those around us. Instead, we are quiet and at peace
knowing that all we need and desire is already within us.
At the end of our yoga classes, we say Namaste. This word has
many translations yet its basic meaning says: the divine in me
honors the divine in you. When we regard and interact with other
individuals from a connection to the deep source that connects
us all, we are able to see the whole individual all the way to
their divine self and in doing so, are also to see ourselves.
Namaste
Heather Antonissen, February 2004
You can write to Heather at heather@yogaisyouth.com,
and check out the books which
she finds inspirational.
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